what a day.
Today was a good day. We had a staff meeting today and they always get me thinking. Lanny, my boss, always challenges me. I think that he and I think similarly, so when he challenges us, it generally hits me hard. Today we talked about the theme of camp, Rhythm, and living in the unforced rhythms of grace (Matthew 11:28). I thought that was so powerful. I love the end of that verse, “keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” THat whole passage (from the Message) just really stuck with me all day. I realized that I have not been keeping the best compnay with Jesus and life is wearing me out. I said outloud today for the first time that sometimes I feel like a chameleon. There are a few people who I am really real and raw with, but with others I feel like I adapt myself to their personality. I get out of my “rhythm” and adapt to theirs. I don’t want to be like that. I was to be so sure of who I am in Jesus that I feel no need to be constantly accepted and liked. I don’t want to care, I want my life to be unforced and living freely in grace. I was hanging out with a friend a few days ago and at the end of the night I realized I had no fun at all. Not because they aren’t a great person, but I feel like I have to be someone I am not with that person.
Then today I was working up the songs for camp so that Lanny could listen to them and pick from them. I really enjoyed it. Music speaks to me. One of my favorite parts of the days I go to school is my drive. I love to turn up my music and just worship…people look at me, it’s so funny. I feel like I connect 100% when I am alone like that.
It’s been an interesting week so far…God is rocking my heart and I love it.
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