The honor is all mine…
I have to admit, when I was pregnant I was absolutely terrified of being a mom. When you are pregnant people have absolutely no boundaries (which drove me nuts…) and seem to tell you only the negative about being a parent. I got comments all the time telling me how I was never going to sleep well again, I was never going to get to do anything fun or on my own, the first year is soooo miserable, nursing is awful, blah blah blah. It really blew my mind that the majority of people would tell a pregnant woman how apparently horrible my life was going to be instead of just celebrating and being excited for me . Comments like those and just the general realization about what was about to happen made me very, very nervous for Elliot to be born. Almost daily I would ask Chris “what happens if I don’t love her?” or “what if I hate being a mom and just want my old life back?” I was genuinely concerned.
I have to say, I am so thankful that all of those people were wrong. I know I’m still new at this and we are only 8 weeks in, but these have been the most precious 8 weeks of my life. I never thought I would love being a mom as much as I do. I get excited when I hear her waking up from naps, love trying to get little smiles out of her, and it absolutely melts my heart when she is crying and I am the one who can comfort her. The hours and hours we have spent together nursing are so precious to me, and I am so thankful that nursing has been nothing but a great experience…even though there was definitely a biiiiiiig learning curve (and several toe curling moments!!!). Sitting in her room each night nursing her and praying over her is the best part of my day. The ability to speak those blessing over her sweet little life is such a treasure to me.
One of the songs I remember the week E was born (and it made me sob when I listened to it for the first time on our first day home…ha!) is Elliana’s Song by Christy Nockles. I sing it to Elliot all the time and just change it to her name! Well, one of the verses says:
There will be others, to lead and to guide you girl, but only one you’ll call mother. The honor is all mine, to show you what a woman’s like…I’m so glad your mine!
That is such a powerful and true statement! I am so, so glad she is mine, and it is such an honor that the Lord has given me to be her momma. I am so thankful that He chose me to raise this little girl and trusted me with her, I am just so glad to call her mine! I said to someone the other day that it’s so cool to finally understand the magnitude of my mom’s love for me…and I am still unable to comprehend the magnitude of God’s love, because I know the love I am feeling is only a fraction of what He feels for me. How amazing is that?
So, not real sure where I am going with this, but…if you are pregnant and are feeling the same way I was when I was pregnant, I want to encourage you – you are about to enter the best adventure of your life. Be excited. Be expectant. And be ready to be overwhelmed with a love you have never experienced before. And for everyone else, I hope you can understand how fully loved you are by the Creator of the Universe who perfectly crafted you.
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